Good Mark Twain Excerpt About The Bible.

“The Christian’s Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same; but the medical practice changes…The world has corrected the Bible. The church never corrects it; and also never fails to drop in at the tail of the procession- and take the credit of the correction. During many ages there were witches. The Bible said so. the Bible commanded that they should not be allowed to live. Therefore the Church, after eight hundred years, gathered up its halters, thumb-screws, and firebrands, and set about its holy work in earnest. She worked hard at it night and day during nine centuries and imprisoned, tortured, hanged, and burned whole hordes and armies of witches, and washed the Christian world clean with their foul blood.

“Then it was discovered that there was no such thing as witches, and never had been. One does not know whether to laugh or to cry…..There are no witches. The witch text remains; only the practice has changed. Hell fire is gone, but the text remains. Infant damnation is gone, but the text remains. More than two hundred death penalties are gone from the law books, but the texts that authorized them remain.”

– Quoted from “Bible Teaching and Religious Practice,” Europe and Elsewhere

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About agnophilo

Nerd.
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8 Responses to Good Mark Twain Excerpt About The Bible.

  1. You’re just cherry picking from a pallet of famous people hoping that your audience is beguiled by the glitter of celebrity.Twain was a humorist, not a Bible scholar.

  2. of course i disagree with loborn; that’s a good one. 

  3. agnophilo says:

    @LoBornlytesThoughtPalace – Everything he said is historically and biblically accurate, which is why you aren’t arguing that it isn’t and just using personal attacks.@complicatedlight – Yup : )  He witnessed the end of slavery, and stated very similar sentiments about that as well.  The churches in his days fought against abolition to the very end, and now christians claim the bible is what ended slavery.  I just had that argument with someone yesterday for about the 20th time in fact.

  4. to be fair, not ALL churches of the day fought against abolition. and those that didn’t are the ones singled out when the larger Church tries to take credit afterward. well…i mean you know…QUAKERS! they’re christians, didn’t you know? uh huh. PRETTY MUCH. 

  5. on that topic, i had some exposure to the quakers when i was young, and then again for a time after college i went to meeting for a couple years on cape cod – that’s old-school quaker country. meetings were held in a two hundred year-old hall. beautiful, well-lit functional place, no ornaments or icons hanging around. no prerequisites, no “christian litmus tests”. and NO preachers – everyone has an equal voice with the quakers. once a week we’d all gather, silently, in that humble windowed place; if and when someone was moved to speak, he or she would stand (or remain seated as the spirit so moved them) and just…go for it. about whatever. many were involved in social justice, caring for the ill, and helping those less-advantaged. some would talk about these things, rooted in a strong sense of pragmatism. others trod on more philosophical – even metaphysical – ground. sometimes meetings would pass in complete silence. but it was always good stuff. i gotta say, i really like the quakers. 

  6. agnophilo says:

    Sounds good.  And yeah it was mainly the big churches, not all of them supported the slave trade.It’s worth noting though that the bible itself does support it, so if quakers didn’t support it it was despite scripture.

  7. @agnophilo – The job of a humorist is to take history and facts and make them funny. The humor in way invalidates Biblical truth.And that has always been your purpose.

  8. agnophilo says:

    @LoBornlytesThoughtPalace – Nope, just speaking my mind here.  I honestly am not trying to make anyone believe anything.And I’m still waiting for you to cite anything not true in the above quote.  If you can.

Speak yer mind.

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