Some jehovah’s witnesses knocked on my door this morning and we had a brief, friendly convo. They gave me a copy of “awake!”, a watchtower publication I explained I was a non-believer and offered to give them back (in case they didn’t want to “waste” one on me, though I didn’t say that) and they said no I can keep them and gave me a copy of The Watchtower too and I bid them a kind farewell.
Now that being said I always read whatever religious propaganda I find in my area because I’m very curious what people in my neck of the woods are promoting, believe etc, and the materials are often unintentionally humorous. So I read them both pretty much cover to cover, though I will admit I skipped over the 5 sections on abraham in one of them and a few other bits. Anyway, these are the bits I found interesting.
Awake! had the cover story “The book that could not be destroyed”. I’ll give you three guesses what book they’re talking about. The article waxes on and on about how much people have hated the bible and attacked and sought to suppress it and suggests that the fact that it hasn’t been suppressed or destroyed and the fact of the controversy itself validates it’s contents. But the same could be said of the koran, or even the harry potter series or beatles albums which were destroyed en-masse – ironically by angry christians. Also it overlooks the fact that much of “the bible” has actually been suppressed – more books were suppressed than were included in the bible under emperor constantine (here are just some of the ones that remain in existence), and even if you consider their selection to be “the” bible, these books were later removed from the king james bible:
Additions to Esther
Wisdom of Solomon
Epistle of Jeremiah
Song of the Three Children
Story of Susanna
Bel and the Dragon
Prayer of Manasseh
And most christians don’t even know they exist. So that’s 15 books, or 18% of the bible that’s been successfully suppressed by christians. If the bible were a candybar someone took a big bite out of it.
They don’t mention that in their little timeline.
So anyway then they have a whole section on how much god loves animals. Nowhere do they even mention the requirement for animal sacrifices and burnt offerings or god’s commandment to paint every door in egypt with lamb blood, or noah after the flood sacrificing some of every “clean” animal and bird species. And they gloss over the fact that half of all animals eat other animals by blaming it implicitly on adam and eve.
A news section says that apparently the pope is no longer an organ donor – not because his organs are probably shot to begin with (I don’t think he would even qualify), but because the catholic church doesn’t want to take them out of their original packaging so they’ll still be collectable – they want to preserve his still living corpse in case he’s ever “venerated” (made into a saint). Because withholding your organs and letting people die is apparently the saintly thing to do.
Another news thing says scientists were “blindsided” by the quake in haiti and that it happened on an undiscovered fault line – I know off the top of my head that scientists had actually predicted the precise magnitude of the quake a year in advance and were monitoring the fault line when it happened. Good fact-checking. And 90% of polish business owners have been the victims of “theft or deception” by their employees. Why they need to report this bizarre statistic is beyond me. What, polish business owners are gullible? And black people loves them some watamellons they does!
Then they have a section called “peoples and lands” that gives a question from two girls (9 and 7) in india asking how many jehovah’s witnesses there are in india. They answered “Is it 31,500, 59,600 or 86,000?”
Okay, on to the watchtower.
The watchtower was actually much less interesting, it mainly had fuzzy wuzzy stuff about how god makes people feel and a bunch of stuff about prophecies (that wasn’t accurate as far as I could tell but it’s not worth wading into). But I thought I’d share a few interesting lines.
One bit talks about the accuracy of the bible, here’s the title of a section of it:
What evidence is there that bricks were made in ancient egypt?
Hmmm… let me think…
Oh yeah, the gigantic piles of them so big they’re visible from space which are one of about two things people from most of the world ever associate with egypt. Should’ve thought of that.
Then there’s a section on rationalizing child sacrifice…
Then there’s a section on how to guard against wicked spirits.
It asks the following questions (you’re supposed to write in your answers):
How do you imagine how the men felt after encountering a wicked spirit…?
In what way can it be said that the wicked spirits “forsook their own proper dwelling place”?
What do the two accounts that you read tell you about the obsession wicked spirits have with sex and violence?
Then they ask what forms of media reflect the “attitude and interests” or wicked spirits.
Anyway, that’s about it. Hope you enjoyed.