The Big Bang Theory Is Wrong.

By which of course I mean the bare naked ladies song which is the theme song of the tv show with the same name.  The song (and the show) are annoyingly inaccurate when it comes to science.  Let me give examples:

“Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,
Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait…
The Earth began to cool,
The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools,
We built a wall (we built the pyramids),
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries,
That all started with the big bang!”

Good so far…

“”Since the dawn of man” is really not that long,
As every galaxy was formed in less time than it takes to sing this song.”

Bullshit.  Galaxy formation takes millions of years, this is due to stellar objects (which move incredibly fast) having to traverse distances so massive that even if they were traveling at the speed of light (the fastest it is physically possible to travel in our universe) they would still need to maintain that speed for about a hundred thousand years to cross the span of a galaxy like ours.  So no, billions of stars did not gather gradually by gravitational forces into collections of stars around massive black holes which themselves take many millions of years to form in “less time than it takes to sing this song”.  That’s like saying the middle ages took less time than it takes to blink, it’s beyond asinine.  Even the creationists give god 24 hours to make the stars.  As a science nerd I am very disappointed.

“A fraction of a second and the elements were made.”

Okay now they’re just pissing me off.  Elements form through the conversion of hydrogen into helium and heavier elements – just the formation of stars is thought to take a loooong time, let alone the lifecycle of the star (which in the shortest lived stars takes tens of millions of years) having to come to an end in order for a supernova to produce every element heavier than iron.  Add to that that stars only formed about a billion years after the big bang once the universe cooled to the point where star formation was possible and yeah, total BS.

“The bipeds stood up straight,
The dinosaurs all met their fate,
They tried to leap but they were late
And they all died (they froze their asses off)”

We don’t know how the dinosaurs went extinct, there are several possible explanations.

“The oceans and pangea
See ya wouldn’t wanna be ya
Set in motion by the same big bang!”

I am not sure why you wouldn’t want to be an ocean or the super-continent that broke apart to form 7 continents, but okay…

“It all started with the big BANG!”

Well, that’s as far as we can trace it back.

“It’s expanding ever outward but one day
It will cause the stars to go the other way,
Collapsing ever inward, we won’t be here, it wont be hurt
Our best and brightest figure that it’ll make an even bigger bang!”

So-called “big crunch” cosmology has been considered debunked for almost a decade now.  To be fair it was discovered that the universe was expanding at an increasing rate the year before they wrote the song, so maybe they’re just not as up on their physics.  Still, they can’t google it?

“Australopithecus would really have been sick of us
Debating out while here they’re catching deer (we’re catching viruses)
Religion or astronomy, Encarta, Deuteronomy
It all started with the big bang!”
Music and mythology, Einstein and astrology
It all started with the big bang!
It all started with the big BANG!”

Close enough.

The show bugs me.  I’ve only seen a little here or there but it reminds me of the scifi show Eureka that started out clever and funny and ended up like in the second or third season sounding like a non-nerd trying to write a nerd show.  There were just so many stupid “science” references (like elements “mutating” into other elements – god how moronic).  I couldn’t watch the show anymore.  Such a shame.  It’s like when they say “evolution” in movies, most of the time it’s so un-scientific it makes me cringe.  Not that I don’t like scifi and fantasy, but when a show is supposed to take place in our universe with our science then get it right people.  It’s not like americans aren’t scientifically illiterate enough already (1 in 5 when polled say the sun revolves around the earth).

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About agnophilo

Nerd.
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29 Responses to The Big Bang Theory Is Wrong.

  1. Aloysius_son says:

    As long as commoners remain ignorant the elite will make the rules.

  2. Hinase says:

    I don’t care much for that show even after watching a few episodes of it. It’s just bad ;/ 

  3. Doitean says:

    You actually overlooked the part that annoys me the most:”Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait…The Earth began to cool,The autotrophs began to drool,Neanderthals developed tools,We built a wall (we built the pyramids),Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries,That all started with the big bang!”That isn’t “good so far.” Autotrophs are plants, algae, and other organisms that use photosynthesis or chemo-synthesis. They don’t drool >.>

  4. Doitean says:

    Oh, and I actually like the show. It is a bit contrived (these four guys are seriously fans of everything about every ‘geeky’ thing ever?) but they do take care to get their science right (not that science is central to the plot very often) and it is funnier than most sit coms.

  5. Guess your sense of humor never evolved.  

  6. The universe follows a very old theory in its evolution. That of a circle. A begining that has no end. If the universe was created in a single blowup of a second. This idea is evident by the fact that the universe, as you mentioned contines to expand and one day, since the universe is like a circle, all matter will find itself again where it initially originated from and compress and explode. Seeking to destry itself and once again in that implosion create an explosion, where the whole process once again begins. A process, like a circle, with no begining and no end.

  7. YouToMe says:

    cracked me up. Great job, señor

  8. sleekpeek says:

    I like how you say it’s as far back as we can trace it.

  9. agnophilo says:

    @Aloysius_son – True I suppose…@Hinase – I concur, though I’ve just seen a few snippits.  These “scrubs” like shows where everyone’s retarded annoy me.  I prefer house.@Doitean – Damn that is a bad one.  Thanks for catching it. @Doitean – “Funnier than most sitcoms” doesn’t mean much, lol.  And yeah that bugged me too – it namedrops media references for punchlines constantly like family guy.@LifeNeedsProtection – I just don’t think scientific illiteracy and widespread ignorance are funny.@The_Eyes_Of_A_Painter – It’s a nice concept but you get that there’s evidence to contradict it and it’s fallen out of favor?@YouToMe – : )@sleekpeek – It’s true.

  10. Hinase says:

    @agnophilo – I do too, which does remind me that I have to catch up on House. I haven’t done that lately.

  11. agnophilo says:

    @Hinase – The latest season hasn’t been as good as previous ones.  A bit droll.  But the first two eps were good.  I think the show peaked when he had all the interns and a season or two thereafter.  Now it’s just a good show, not an awesome one.  Imho.But yeah.

  12. Hinase says:

    @agnophilo – I see. Thanks for letting me know about that. I’m not surprised. It’s been running for awhile now..Yeah, those seasons were the best.

  13. agnophilo says:

    @Hinase – The same with dr. who, though there were some really good episodes in the last season.  Dexter also may have jumped the shark (or gone someplace awesome, ask me again next season, lol).

  14. Hinase says:

    @agnophilo – Yeah, I haven’t watched the current season of Dexter recently or anything really. I’ve been hooked on new shows like Downton Abbey etc; 

  15. agnophilo says:

    @Hinase – Ah – haven’t watched it but a friend of mine loves it.  There is a big twist in dexter, but I won’t spoil it.

  16. Hinase says:

    @agnophilo – Yeah, please don’t. I have to catch up with it! ;3 BBC Sherlock is pretty good and if you like House M.D, I recommend it highly. 

  17. agnophilo says:

    @Hinase – Yeah, saw sherlock when they first aired it and thought it was pretty okay.

  18. Hinase says:

    @agnophilo – Tis a shame. It gets better as the episodes go along. 

  19. Hinase says:

    @agnophilo – That you thought Sherlock was okay 😦

  20. agnophilo says:

    @Hinase – No it was good – better than 95% of tv series.  Sorry, I’m an art snob.  Okay to me is pretty high praise : )

  21. Hinase says:

    @agnophilo – Hahaha I’m silly then ;3 Yeah, when I hear okay, I usually associate it with the meaning not very good. 

  22. agnophilo says:

    @Hinase – Nah, ’tis my fault.  Sorry, I reserve words like “awesome” for things that seem almost impossibly good.  I would say the abovementioned bit of house qualifies.  And the show firefly qualifies.  And much of doctor who (especially season 5 – the 2-part finale is the best thing I’ve ever seen on tv, though of course you need to watch the whole season to appreciate it).

  23. Hinase says:

    @agnophilo – That’s fine. ;D You’re just careful about your tastes and what words you use. Yeah, I gotta restart Dr. Who. The last finale I watched was way back if I remember correctly.

  24. agnophilo says:

    @Hinase – I highly recommend getting up to season 5.  Steve Moffat (who wrote the british comedy Coupling) took over as head writer (he wrote episodes like “blink” and “the girl in the fireplace”) for season 5 and the whole thing is really well written.  It’s almost not even scifi, it’s more like a fairy tale on steroids. Great stuff.Be sure to see “silence in the library” and the other one (two parter) in season 4 though, it establishes a major character in season 5 – and you find out who they are in season 6 : )Looking at the guy who played the new doctor I never thought I’d like him in a million years but he’s actually a brilliant actor.  But then you never like the new doctor at first.

  25. Hinase says:

    @agnophilo – That’s a good recommendation and since I have Netflix, I can jump to season 5. Yeah, I really did like the episode “Girl in the Fireplace” and knowing Steve Moffat helped write BBC Sherlock, no doubt I’ll check it out. Yeah, I probably won’t like the new doctor but then I’ll get used to him. It happens with new stuff. 

  26. agnophilo says:

    @Hinase – Make sure to watch “silence in the library” and “forest of the dead” from season 4 before watching season 5.  Other than that you don’t need to know anything and I don’t believe there are any spoilers.

  27. agnophilo says:

    @sleekpeek – No need to apologize.  And yeah, hawking is wrong – philosophy means “love of wisdom” and science is just the branch of philosophy that deals with testing physical explanations for things.  Good article, you may enjoy my commentary on the whole “multiverse” concept here.

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